Old Writing #3

The Significance of My Prayers

The human mind cannot even begin to comprehend all that is God.

As I pray, I thank the Lord for His love, His peace, His strength, and His time to listen to lil 'ol me.

Then is dawns on me: "Boy, I'm acting like I'm the only one who exists. I'm communicating with God as if I'm the only one on the phone with Him." I then begin to understand that I am NOT the only one. While He hears me and I sit quietly to hear Him speak with me, I realize He's also communicating with other believers.

He's performing miracles of healing, protection, conception, and birth. He's comforting those who are hurting, both physically and emotionally. He's guiding His children who are lost in the dark. He is welcoming our loved ones home. He is leading people to food and shelter. He's providing a friend in time of need. He is forgiving us our sins. He is opening His heart to those who give their hearts freely to Him.

He is in every conversation. He is creating the day before me, the songs the birds sing, the glorious sunrise, the arching rainbow, the tranquil river's flow, the gentle rain, the warm breeze, or the invigorating cold. He is sending the butterfly to spread its colorful wings as it lands on a fragrant flower.

He is doing all these things and more, while I sit here praying what must seem to Him such a simple prayer. But the thing is, I also realize that I have His undivided attention. Even my most mundane chores matter to Him. He knows the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:7) and He knew all there was to me before I was even in my mother's womb (Jerremiah 1:5a and Psalm 139:13).

If He can do all these things, as He unconditionally opens His heart to me, how can I possibly not believe that even my most simple prayers aren't already being answered?

Smaller Books of the Bible (Part 1)

I have been reading the smaller books of the Bible lately, having just felt compelled by the Spirit to do so. WOW is all I can say! Ya know those moments in time when you're left awe-struck, speechless, flabbergasted...almost dumbfounded, as it finally registers...you finally "get" it? That's been happening for me in reading these smaller books (of which I will definitely be posting more).

I overslept this a.m., and didn't have time to read my Bible before the rigors of the day set in. But, somehow, I just felt drawn to it, as though a light was eminating from it, and my curious nature had to investigate. Two simple chapters & bam....God pierced my very spirit...not to convict me, but more to claim me further into Him. It was as tho' He's pulled me into one of those "bear hugs" of an embrace...and enlightenment, that apparently has alluded me, is now mine! Tears brimmed my lashes, to spill down my cheek, at how loved I suddenly felt.

Please read Hosea 2, where the header says "Israel Punished & Restored". That's my life written there. Ok, here me out on this. This isn't a confession of adultery as we think of it, but certainly adultery against the Lord. The verses that really got to me said, "...I will make her like a desert, turn her into a parched land, and slay her with thirst." Yes, every avenue I tried was dried up, and I was thirsty for more. Then "Therefore I will block her path..." Check - path blocked (decidedly so!)! Then "She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them." Oh yeah, I looked for someone to share my life with for years, always meeting the wrong type. Then, "She has not acknowledged that I was the one who gave..." That's true. I tried to take the credit for it all. Next, "So now I will expose her ... no one will take her out of my hands." And He did just that...except He exposes me, to me! I never saw how much I was struggling trying so desperately to meet someone. I had gone SO long without love, with only negativity, then loneliness, that I was grasping at straws & the caliber of man I would allow myself to settle for was .... ummm, let's just say not good.

Well, after the last incident of yet another winner in the game of Merana's Loserama, I gave up, gave in, said "enough is enough". I gave it to Him. And He has been faithful to teach me so very much in myself that I never saw before. So, as I read "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." And thus, healing begins. To be followed - "I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD. "In that day I will respond," declares the LORD..."

I know love awaits me at some point. But this time, it will be centered in Christ. God has shown me that I cannot trust myself, because clearly I cannot chose well. He has saved me countless times from mistakes I was about to make. Those "saves" hurt a lot! But what could have happened would have hurt much worse. Not just me, but most especially my children. I rather view it as vaccinations. They hurt like the dickens when you get them, but they protect against a deadly disease. The Lord has indeed led me to the desert to speak to me, with loving admonishment. For now, I rather like it here! I'm lonely at times, certainly. But, He has blessed me so much in this time in the desert that I can clearly see I don't have time in my life right now to share it with someone new...not in the way you need to share with that someone special. So, I'll just wait until He deems the time is right for me, in His time.

But someday, Lord....???? I remain hope-filled....and just dig on these treasures you reveal. Thank you, Father, for knowing & loving me more than I do myself!

Tying things together

I'm reading "Adventuring Through the Bible" by Ray Stedman, as I read different chapters in my Bible. It's a phenomenal book - full of insight and guidance for those areas that confuse me, and just his writing style lends itself to sitting down with a carrying mentor whom you can come to with questions. I highly recommend this book to anyone. I have found an online version of it here. Take the time to refer to it as you feel led to do. You won't be sorry.

Now....for what I got this past week from it, that tied in wonderfully with the message my pastor delivered last Sunday at church. I've almost finished reading Daniel now....what a book of faith and hope! Stedman writes the following about that book that I just felt led to share with you:

The evil of our age is subtle, but it is undeniably widespread and Satan-inspired. Good is more powerful. Its effect in human society in relationship to the evil around it is far greater than it ever has been before. These two contrasting forces are at work in human society, but neither shall overpower the other. Both good and evil are headed for a final conflict: The Bible records in various passages that, an one precise moment in history, God will directly intervene in human affairs.

Ultimately, ever nation and every individual serves God - willingly or not. Even if a great king renounces God ten times over, even if he sets himself against God, relentlessly and defiantly, God is sovereign, and He works all events, all human choices, all satanic chaos, into His perfect and beautiful plan. None...can resist the will of God nor interfere with the plan of God.

The choice that you and I have is a choice between being willing or unwilling tools in God's hand - whether we receive the blessings that come from obedience, or the judgment that issues from rebellion. Our God is a living God, and He is at work in the affairs of human beings and nations. We need not fear, even though the terrors of evil nations rise up around us. God controls everything, and we who walk with God will ultimately overcome.

Now, last week my pastor presented a message entitled "God's Cure for Fearing the Future", and he focused on Psalm 23:6 - Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Here are some highlights (I'm an avid notetaker during service!) ;o} ...

1. Bad things will happen in our lives...but good will follow. We can expect something good to come out of everything we face! Psalm 145:13b ~ The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.
2. Because of his omnipresence, God's already been in our future...so we have no need to fear it...because God will be there and he already knows what's coming. Romans 8:28 ~ We know that all that happens to us is working for our good IF we love God and are called according to His purpose. Not all things are good, but good will come (or referencing Ps. 23:6, good will follow).
3. Isaiah 60:10 ~ I will have mercy on you through my grace. Grace is the fact that God gives us what we need, not what we deserve!!! Psalm 103:10 ~ he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. Mercy is grace in action! When we understand grace and mercy, we "get" that we don't need to fear the future.

God is good...all the time. All the time...God is good!

Old Writing #2

I share with you now another old writing. I haven't been on here much at all for over a week & have some time (well, not really....but I'm sneaking it anyway!) now to check in on my BB's (bloggin' buddies!). I read one of my favorite places to rest a bit & commented the following, which God told me to share with all of you.

When we ask "what did I do to deserve this?", the Holy Spirit just shared with me, "because I trust you with it". WOW - God trusts me with whatever heartache, challenge, struggle, brokenness I'm facing? YES...so His light can shine all the brighter, and His strength can be made known in my weakness! Take heart, dear ones!!! And remember...you are...ALWAYS ENOUGH

I am always enough in God's eyes:

... even when I feel I can't seem to do anything right
... even when I feel that nobody cares
...even when I look different than others due to scarring, deformity, or handicap
...even when I look at myself with disappointment in the mirror be my size too tall, too short, too thin, or too large
...even when I frequently forget things
...even when I see my gray hairs, or no hair at all
...even when I can't get around as good as I used to
...even when it's harder to hear and to see
...even when I have a dispute with someone I care for
...even when I have problems that seem insurmountable
...even when...well, just "even when"...

I am always enough in His eyes because:

~ I am the shoulder for others to cry on
~ I am the comforting arms to rock a sick or scared child back to sleep, or to kiss away a boo-boo
~ I am here to send an encouarging note when someone feels down in despair
~ I am able to offer a light-hearted laugh when someone simply wants to forget the problems of the world
~ I am what helps make up the loving foundation for a home
~ I am the friend to offer a comforting word or hug when someone so desperate needs it
~ I am the proud parent cheering in the stands
~ I am the one who doesn't even have to say or do anyting at all, but just to "be there"
~ I am the child who carries the legacy of my parent's love that has been given me
~ I am the hand to hold and the ear to listen, not just "hear"

~ And, I am a small extension personifying the Great I AM, simply to serve others for Him...in reverential gratitude for His sacrifice for me.

Old Writing #1

Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path (Psalm 119:105)

You will light my way along unfamiliar paths (Isaiah 42:16)


(photo credit: whitewolfjourneys.com)

I wrote this quite awhile back. God has been putting on my heart to share my writings with the world, and even helped me recently find these, as I had forgotten I even wrote them. He's told me point blank to post these...because someone out there desperately needs what these have to say. And now I know that to be even more true, because Satan has tried all kinds of tricks to keep this from posting (as I'm sitting here putting it all together for the 3rd time in the past hour....but this time with a prayer of protection around it lifted up first!). Be blessed by it, dear friends! ~ Merana


In the darkness Lord, You are the light.

~ Just as the gentle flicker of a candle flame, you penetrate the blackness.

~ In brilliance, you pierce through the obscurity.

~ When I lose my way Lord, You are the lighted windows welcoming me home.

~ You are the firelight where I curl up for warmth & comfort.

~ As I navigate through the channels of life, you are the lighthouse beacon to steer me on my course to reach safe harbor.

~ As I read your Word, your lamplight enlightens me.

~ You are my protective night light to chase away the scary monsters in life.

~ You, Lord God, are the searchlights in the night that reach heavenward to broadcast your love.

~ You are an usher with a flashlight seating me where it is best for me in life’s theater.

~ In emergencies, you are the track lighting on the floor to lead me to the nearest exit where you wait with loving arms.

~ You are the harbor lights, dear Father, leading me ever closer to shore.

~ You show me the brake lights in order that I may stop before harm comes my way.

~ Your neon lights flash “Love Here for the Taking”

~ Abba, You are my stage lights to showcase my talents with which you have blessed me.

~ Your street lights show me the way as I continue on life’s journey.

~ Your headlights are on high beam, to illuminate dark roads traveled, and to share with others the glory of your love.

~ Your light is much more beautiful than the most glorious sunset, Lord – and there is no dimmer.

~ And then you are the bright, quiet beauty of the full moon to fill the night sky.


Thank you Lord, God, for being my lamp and my light. I have found that there is beauty...and peace...and rest in the light!

You are missed

I have been busier than busy....nothing special....just the life of a single mom. Usually (a'hum/cough/cough/sputter/sputter) I would check in at work.....but haven't been able to do that. I have SO many blog ideas of things I want....no NEED...to post. I miss you all TERRIBLY. I haven't even read Spiritual Sundays....OH THE WITHDRAWAL!!!!!! I hope to be back in gear this w/e when the boys go to their dad's. In the meantime, please pray for me. It may sound trite, but my oldest & I are NOT getting along (& my problem is that he reminds me so much of my ex.....perhaps even more so feeding the problem???). I miss you terribly! Hugs ~ Merana