Old Writing #3

The Significance of My Prayers

The human mind cannot even begin to comprehend all that is God.

As I pray, I thank the Lord for His love, His peace, His strength, and His time to listen to lil 'ol me.

Then is dawns on me: "Boy, I'm acting like I'm the only one who exists. I'm communicating with God as if I'm the only one on the phone with Him." I then begin to understand that I am NOT the only one. While He hears me and I sit quietly to hear Him speak with me, I realize He's also communicating with other believers.

He's performing miracles of healing, protection, conception, and birth. He's comforting those who are hurting, both physically and emotionally. He's guiding His children who are lost in the dark. He is welcoming our loved ones home. He is leading people to food and shelter. He's providing a friend in time of need. He is forgiving us our sins. He is opening His heart to those who give their hearts freely to Him.

He is in every conversation. He is creating the day before me, the songs the birds sing, the glorious sunrise, the arching rainbow, the tranquil river's flow, the gentle rain, the warm breeze, or the invigorating cold. He is sending the butterfly to spread its colorful wings as it lands on a fragrant flower.

He is doing all these things and more, while I sit here praying what must seem to Him such a simple prayer. But the thing is, I also realize that I have His undivided attention. Even my most mundane chores matter to Him. He knows the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:7) and He knew all there was to me before I was even in my mother's womb (Jerremiah 1:5a and Psalm 139:13).

If He can do all these things, as He unconditionally opens His heart to me, how can I possibly not believe that even my most simple prayers aren't already being answered?

Smaller Books of the Bible (Part 1)

I have been reading the smaller books of the Bible lately, having just felt compelled by the Spirit to do so. WOW is all I can say! Ya know those moments in time when you're left awe-struck, speechless, flabbergasted...almost dumbfounded, as it finally registers...you finally "get" it? That's been happening for me in reading these smaller books (of which I will definitely be posting more).

I overslept this a.m., and didn't have time to read my Bible before the rigors of the day set in. But, somehow, I just felt drawn to it, as though a light was eminating from it, and my curious nature had to investigate. Two simple chapters & bam....God pierced my very spirit...not to convict me, but more to claim me further into Him. It was as tho' He's pulled me into one of those "bear hugs" of an embrace...and enlightenment, that apparently has alluded me, is now mine! Tears brimmed my lashes, to spill down my cheek, at how loved I suddenly felt.

Please read Hosea 2, where the header says "Israel Punished & Restored". That's my life written there. Ok, here me out on this. This isn't a confession of adultery as we think of it, but certainly adultery against the Lord. The verses that really got to me said, "...I will make her like a desert, turn her into a parched land, and slay her with thirst." Yes, every avenue I tried was dried up, and I was thirsty for more. Then "Therefore I will block her path..." Check - path blocked (decidedly so!)! Then "She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them." Oh yeah, I looked for someone to share my life with for years, always meeting the wrong type. Then, "She has not acknowledged that I was the one who gave..." That's true. I tried to take the credit for it all. Next, "So now I will expose her ... no one will take her out of my hands." And He did just that...except He exposes me, to me! I never saw how much I was struggling trying so desperately to meet someone. I had gone SO long without love, with only negativity, then loneliness, that I was grasping at straws & the caliber of man I would allow myself to settle for was .... ummm, let's just say not good.

Well, after the last incident of yet another winner in the game of Merana's Loserama, I gave up, gave in, said "enough is enough". I gave it to Him. And He has been faithful to teach me so very much in myself that I never saw before. So, as I read "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." And thus, healing begins. To be followed - "I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD. "In that day I will respond," declares the LORD..."

I know love awaits me at some point. But this time, it will be centered in Christ. God has shown me that I cannot trust myself, because clearly I cannot chose well. He has saved me countless times from mistakes I was about to make. Those "saves" hurt a lot! But what could have happened would have hurt much worse. Not just me, but most especially my children. I rather view it as vaccinations. They hurt like the dickens when you get them, but they protect against a deadly disease. The Lord has indeed led me to the desert to speak to me, with loving admonishment. For now, I rather like it here! I'm lonely at times, certainly. But, He has blessed me so much in this time in the desert that I can clearly see I don't have time in my life right now to share it with someone new...not in the way you need to share with that someone special. So, I'll just wait until He deems the time is right for me, in His time.

But someday, Lord....???? I remain hope-filled....and just dig on these treasures you reveal. Thank you, Father, for knowing & loving me more than I do myself!

Tying things together

I'm reading "Adventuring Through the Bible" by Ray Stedman, as I read different chapters in my Bible. It's a phenomenal book - full of insight and guidance for those areas that confuse me, and just his writing style lends itself to sitting down with a carrying mentor whom you can come to with questions. I highly recommend this book to anyone. I have found an online version of it here. Take the time to refer to it as you feel led to do. You won't be sorry.

Now....for what I got this past week from it, that tied in wonderfully with the message my pastor delivered last Sunday at church. I've almost finished reading Daniel now....what a book of faith and hope! Stedman writes the following about that book that I just felt led to share with you:

The evil of our age is subtle, but it is undeniably widespread and Satan-inspired. Good is more powerful. Its effect in human society in relationship to the evil around it is far greater than it ever has been before. These two contrasting forces are at work in human society, but neither shall overpower the other. Both good and evil are headed for a final conflict: The Bible records in various passages that, an one precise moment in history, God will directly intervene in human affairs.

Ultimately, ever nation and every individual serves God - willingly or not. Even if a great king renounces God ten times over, even if he sets himself against God, relentlessly and defiantly, God is sovereign, and He works all events, all human choices, all satanic chaos, into His perfect and beautiful plan. None...can resist the will of God nor interfere with the plan of God.

The choice that you and I have is a choice between being willing or unwilling tools in God's hand - whether we receive the blessings that come from obedience, or the judgment that issues from rebellion. Our God is a living God, and He is at work in the affairs of human beings and nations. We need not fear, even though the terrors of evil nations rise up around us. God controls everything, and we who walk with God will ultimately overcome.

Now, last week my pastor presented a message entitled "God's Cure for Fearing the Future", and he focused on Psalm 23:6 - Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Here are some highlights (I'm an avid notetaker during service!) ;o} ...

1. Bad things will happen in our lives...but good will follow. We can expect something good to come out of everything we face! Psalm 145:13b ~ The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.
2. Because of his omnipresence, God's already been in our future...so we have no need to fear it...because God will be there and he already knows what's coming. Romans 8:28 ~ We know that all that happens to us is working for our good IF we love God and are called according to His purpose. Not all things are good, but good will come (or referencing Ps. 23:6, good will follow).
3. Isaiah 60:10 ~ I will have mercy on you through my grace. Grace is the fact that God gives us what we need, not what we deserve!!! Psalm 103:10 ~ he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. Mercy is grace in action! When we understand grace and mercy, we "get" that we don't need to fear the future.

God is good...all the time. All the time...God is good!

Lessons learned in weeding!

I find it truly amazing how lost one can become in blogland. Not that I find that troublesome, considering the phenomenal posts I've been reading - most especially this one. I have SO much to do today, and instead, I've spent almost 3 hours on here reading, and commenting on posts...but hopefully finding new friends in the process!

Today is the first chance I've had to make a post since I had a "revelationary experience" last weekend. I was out early in the day pulling weeds that had popped up in my brick walkway while we were on vacation ... trying to beat the sun coming over the house with the 107 temperature that would fast be upon us that day.

Anyway, ya know how there are mindless chores you do that help "unburden" your mind & you can ponder just about anything? Weeding (and dishes) are those times for me, my friends. SO...I'm pullin' & gritting my teeth at how much there was to do...and I start to ponder...(come with me on the journey) 'why did God invent these stupid weeds anyway? And why is it that THEY grow [apparently in abundance]while everything else I've paid for is dying if I don't take the time to water it?' So, in aggravation I pull, I sweat, and I ponder...stupid weeds! But then this peace settled in on me, and the weeds really didn't bother me anymore. Know why? Because God was with me and He had something to share with me.

The weeds are symbolic of the evil that is in this world. Yes, the weeds practically thrive in the hostile environment of the extreme weather we've had this summer (I haven't had to mow for over a month) - just as evil thrives in the darkness that the world is. We can pluck out some of the weeds, but we have to pull them up by the roots. And I was reminded of Jesus' Parable of the Weeds (Matthew 13:24-29) - "Let both [weeds & wheat] grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.' ". We believers (wheat) must live here among the weeds, but our Father will tie up evil to be burned in the Lake of Fire and we will be brought to His barn. We are seeds in this dark world to grow continually (for we never will reach maturity). Only God knows when the harvest will be. But we must leave the weeds to His mighty hand. Now I'm not saying for a minute that we shouldn't do what we can to combat weeds/evil, that is our duty to not turn a blind eye. But, we must always remember that the battle is the Lord's!

(Ok, nobody comments, "well, Merana, what about your previous post on dandelions?" & how we should look at things with the simplicity of children)

And then as I'm further slaving away & drenched in sweat by this point (yes, it was 95 degrees by 10a in the shade!) , the Lord reminded me of what a friend recently told me. He was praying for a difficult time I was experiencing & after a few days, he approached me & said, "Ok, what I'm coming away with is that you have unresolved issues that you need to deal with no matter how ugly they are." I was shocked! I told him, "I don't have anything unresolved! I've dealt with everything I was faced with and gotten past it." Hmph, I thought - who does he think he is?! Then I realized just who he was. He was being a good friend in listening to what God told him to tell me. Tables turned. Hmph, who do I think I am not to listen to what God was trying to tell me?

So...I started praying & earnestly seeking direction. I told the Lord, "Ok, apparently I have unresolved issues that I'm not even aware are issues. Would you please reveal them to me [enlighten me] and then help me to resolve them?" God is faithful! All the time. Yes, He took me on a journey within my heart...and yes, to ugly places I didn't want to see. He showed me addictive tendencies I was starting to develop in order to not face some things. He showed me that I only think that I trust, but where men are concerned, I trust no one. And in that one revelation, He showed me that that's why I haven't trusted Him implicitly...because He's a "he" & can't be trusted because almost every man in my life has let me down or hurt me terribly. Bit of an eye opener, eh?

Next...Ok, so I've learned to trust HIM. "It is what it is" has become a new mantra for me. Not much I can do about anything. Every situation is exactly what it is at that time. I will do the best I can in that situation, but I have to trust Him with the outcome for my good & His glory. I've learned that I can't believe that just some of the promises of the Bible are real, and not others...or that makes the whole Word of God unbelievable, doesn't it? And I've been a witness to some of those promises. Therefore, I have to wait in anticipation of the rest of them. I know everyone knows Jeremiah 29:11 and holds on to it. But, I've found the gem of Romans 8:24b-25 - But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. That's what I cling to! And now I greet each day thanking Him that I'm one day closer to my heart's desire...all the while I see the unfolding of His heart's desire for my life! It's a beautiful ride!

And my friend (and yes, it is JUST friendship 1/2 a country apart) who started me on this path to enlightenment? God is faithful there too. Someone I thought was a true friend in Christ is now making very detrimental decisions that will impact his life quite negatively. I've admonished him as the Lord directed me to do, sharing Scriptures with him to show him that the path he is taking will only lead to heartache & pain. But, he's lonely & refuses to listen. So, I thank the Lord for the brief connection we had in one another's lives. Thank Him for the chance to be given a message through him that has lead me on a path to true healing. And thank Him that He used me to try to reach my friend as he did me. I listened. Sadly, he did not. And that's when the time comes that you know you have to wash your hands of a situation and say "It is what it is", lift it in prayer, and leave it at the foot of the Cross. He knows I'm here if he wants to come back & listen to what God has to say. But, for now it seems he's content to go live among the weeds. He's a good man down deep, making stupid choices so please pray for him.

Ok, with that I see that I have now been on here for far, far, far too long. But time well spent =)!! Now, I have to go clean. Hmmm....wonder what might be revealed to me...