Smaller Books of the Bible (Part 1)

I have been reading the smaller books of the Bible lately, having just felt compelled by the Spirit to do so. WOW is all I can say! Ya know those moments in time when you're left awe-struck, speechless, flabbergasted...almost dumbfounded, as it finally registers...you finally "get" it? That's been happening for me in reading these smaller books (of which I will definitely be posting more).

I overslept this a.m., and didn't have time to read my Bible before the rigors of the day set in. But, somehow, I just felt drawn to it, as though a light was eminating from it, and my curious nature had to investigate. Two simple chapters & bam....God pierced my very spirit...not to convict me, but more to claim me further into Him. It was as tho' He's pulled me into one of those "bear hugs" of an embrace...and enlightenment, that apparently has alluded me, is now mine! Tears brimmed my lashes, to spill down my cheek, at how loved I suddenly felt.

Please read Hosea 2, where the header says "Israel Punished & Restored". That's my life written there. Ok, here me out on this. This isn't a confession of adultery as we think of it, but certainly adultery against the Lord. The verses that really got to me said, "...I will make her like a desert, turn her into a parched land, and slay her with thirst." Yes, every avenue I tried was dried up, and I was thirsty for more. Then "Therefore I will block her path..." Check - path blocked (decidedly so!)! Then "She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them." Oh yeah, I looked for someone to share my life with for years, always meeting the wrong type. Then, "She has not acknowledged that I was the one who gave..." That's true. I tried to take the credit for it all. Next, "So now I will expose her ... no one will take her out of my hands." And He did just that...except He exposes me, to me! I never saw how much I was struggling trying so desperately to meet someone. I had gone SO long without love, with only negativity, then loneliness, that I was grasping at straws & the caliber of man I would allow myself to settle for was .... ummm, let's just say not good.

Well, after the last incident of yet another winner in the game of Merana's Loserama, I gave up, gave in, said "enough is enough". I gave it to Him. And He has been faithful to teach me so very much in myself that I never saw before. So, as I read "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." And thus, healing begins. To be followed - "I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD. "In that day I will respond," declares the LORD..."

I know love awaits me at some point. But this time, it will be centered in Christ. God has shown me that I cannot trust myself, because clearly I cannot chose well. He has saved me countless times from mistakes I was about to make. Those "saves" hurt a lot! But what could have happened would have hurt much worse. Not just me, but most especially my children. I rather view it as vaccinations. They hurt like the dickens when you get them, but they protect against a deadly disease. The Lord has indeed led me to the desert to speak to me, with loving admonishment. For now, I rather like it here! I'm lonely at times, certainly. But, He has blessed me so much in this time in the desert that I can clearly see I don't have time in my life right now to share it with someone new...not in the way you need to share with that someone special. So, I'll just wait until He deems the time is right for me, in His time.

But someday, Lord....???? I remain hope-filled....and just dig on these treasures you reveal. Thank you, Father, for knowing & loving me more than I do myself!