(photo credit: raskazy.files.wordpress.com)

Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions
Author Unknown


When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard. My kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on.

When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much rhythm so I sit self-consciously and listen.
My kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words. If they don't know them, they make up their own.

When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk.
My kids close their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it, until they fall to the ground laughing.

When I pray, I say thee and thou and grant me this, give me that.
My kids say, "Hi God! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the bad dreams away tonight."

When I see a mud puddle I step around it. I see muddy shoes and dirty carpets. My kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to play with.

My 2 cents? - I wonder if we are given kids to teach . . . or to learn from? No wonder God loves the little children! Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~ Merana

Passions and Talents

It will never cease to amaze me how the Lord works! HE'S MOVING, folks - and He intends to touch one, some, or many with what I have to say here. Man, I love being used by Him!!

David Borchard spoke of recognizing what we would define as our core values, and that everything else flows from those. He also explained that our passions are those things that are of deep-seated interest to us, as well as an energy source operating from our core values. Our talents entail our natural abilities, our aptitude, and those skills we develop over time. The weaving together of those two then become our motivators. Dr. Borchard basically said that gratification is a passing thing, but fulfillment is when you've achieved something and feel as though you're 'filled up' and satisfied with that which you've accomplished. But ultimately, the key to success comes from inside.

Success certainly means different things to different people. What does it mean to you? To some, it may be climbing the ladder of achievements. To another, it may be winning the game or defeating a competitor. To still another, it might be accumulating great wealth. But in our endeavors to be successful, we must recognize our responsibility as Christians. Our first priority is to our God (Matthew 6:33)! We are called to be one in the body of Christ (Galatians 3:28). It is our responsibility to serve Him and help those less fortunate and win others over to want to know Christ, and then helping them on that path (2 Corinthians 5:18 - our assignment). There is nothing wrong with great wealth - as long as we understand that the love of money is the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10; Hebrews 13:5). I once told a very dear friend that success of this world means nothing if you've left your loved ones in the wake as you pursued that success full steam ahead. I said to imagine that he were one of those people trapped in the collapsing World Trade Center buildings. No degree, no bank account, no car, no house, no competition will have mattered at that point. All that remains is love. Leaving a legacy where those we leave behind can remember us with laughter or smiles through their tears is far more significant than any
worldly item or 'win'! That is what bridges generational boundaries.

We should not be discouraged is we haven't yet discovered our passions, or even our talents. Truthfully, it's been 8 years now that I've discovered my passion or even taken the time to recognize my talents – writing! I’ve done much privately with it, never knowing how to share it. Then in April, He revealed it – and this blog found its place in His Kingdom. It takes time . . . prayerful time in asking Him to reveal things within your spirit of where HE would have you go, and what HE has placed within you in order to reach this hurting world - even if it's only to reach one person at a time. God put His spirit in our hearts (2 Corinthians 2:22). "Soul searching" - taking time to evaluate your life, recognize your strengths, accept your weaknesses and do what you can to improve upon them, and come to understand your likes and dislikes. Then take it all to Him and ask what He would have you do with it and what He would have you learn from it. None of us is ever too old to learn something new about ourselves! And I readily admit to a LOT of frustration in the slowness of the process! But MUCH has had to happen in my life to get me to this point where I’m open enough, and completely SURRENDERED, and ready to move forward unencumbered with where He’s asking me to go.

We all enter this world in different circumstances, encounter different people and joys, and struggles in life. We are each made unique - in our appearance, in our personality, in our circumstances, in our gifts and talents, and in the passion that lies within each of us. But also know this: we are ALL created in the image of God. We all comprise His likeness. I imagine a "photo mosaic" picture - the kind where hundreds of individual pictures are artfully placed together so that when you step back, you see a whole new bigger picture. And the picture of each of us working together form the image of our heavenly Father. I'm reminded of a painting done by an artist, Bill Zdinak. I read his story in a book I took when clearing out my mother's house. The story so intrigued me that I did an Internet search of the artist in order to see his work. Mr. Zdinak made a painting entitled, "In His Image" that is truly unbelievable. At a distance, it is a depiction of Jesus wearing His crown of thorns. But as you look more closely, you understand that Jesus' image is actually comprised of the faces of so many people - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Dr. Jonas Salk (developer of the first polio vaccine), President John F. Kennedy, and Alexander Graham Bell (boy, wouldn't he be surprised at how far phone service has come!?!), to name a few, as well as simple everyday people. You can view the painting more closely and read some of his story on www.printsforinspiration.com. But the truly remarkable thing that you don't get to read on that website is that two years prior to creating this painting, Mr. Zdinak had been horribly injured in a freak accident. It was only after he cried out to God, that the inspiration came upon him to paint this piece, and that he finished it in 15 hours.

God IS there and He IS listening. I know there are times it seems He is not, but remember that HIS timing is best and we must go through the struggles we do to develop perseverance (Romans 5:3-4), and ultimately hope. In the song Broken (#5 in my playlist) it says, "there is beauty in the breaking". Boy, you never think so at the time, that's for sure! But, once you get through the valley (remember, He never promised us we'd go around that valley, but that He would walk with us through it!), you realize that there probably was some beauty to it in order to get you more experience where you can then use your struggle to help someone else. We ALL have been through those things. And quite honestly, I have found that many of those struggles have developed the passion within me.

I view doing things within my passion as something which gives me peace - peace at having done it (like writing this post to share with you). Your passion should entail something you greatly love to do, but also by means of utilizing the talents that God has given you. It breaks down to asking Him to reveal things within yourself to your self. And, do you know God's will for you? I'm not going to tell you. Go check it out yourself - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

And by the way, how do I measure success? Raising my children to know and love the Lord and to know these following things I live by: to love others and be loved, to offer myself in His service by whatever means He needs, to touch others' lives and hearts, to live each day to the fullest striving to do all that I can for Him, and to leave a little bit of "me" behind in each person I encounter along this journey Home. And, I must confess - just being inspired to write this has shown me that I have been successful. Sure, I've let the situations of each day overtake me rather than to live them to the fullest, exclaiming Psalm 118:24 - "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." It's truly humbling to realize that every day we're given could also be our last.

Remember, our passions have been set deep within us by God. Our talents come from God. He is the Creator of all things. He alone can see the big picture of the experiences we have and how they can then impact others' lives. And believe me, there are hurting people in this world who can gain from our insight based upon our struggles and experiences. So, do some real soul
searching and ask Him to reveal things to you about you! You never know whose life you'll touch with the insight you'll gain. Perhaps you won't know until you're called Home. But . . . it's invigorating to think of the prospect!

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes. It's by Frederick Buechner ~ The place where God calls you . . . is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.

Christ's Home

I'm an avid follower of CSI's and mostly NCIS. The one thing that has really struck me in watching those shows, is when the investigators go through the victim's house. Now, aside from how neat and tidy the home is (who lives like that?), I've stopped to ponder, 'Hmm, wonder if they have things tucked away in drawers that they'd be mortified to have someone find?' (not that it matters at that point, but you get my drift).

And that made me think even further . . . "Do I? Is there anything I have in my possession that would shock and embarrass my children to find if I were to die?" I remember when my grandaddy died, the whole family gathered around the bed in one room and went through the drawers of mementos and pictures he had saved. Oh the stories that we told as my aunts, uncles, parents, cousins, and I shared with one another the blessing of this man's impact in each of our lives. There was so much laughter and heartfelt love through our tears. Will I leave that kind of mark on those I leave behind? I'm striving for that!

I'm reminded of a wonderful little booklet by Robert Boyd Munger, entitled My Heart, Christ's Home, that I first read in college waaayyy back. In it, your life is referred to as a home, with different rooms signifying different things. One particular part talks about choosing things to read, listen to, or even watch on tv (and, of course, now that includes the Internet). Would you choose those things those things if Christ was sitting beside you, doing it with you? Well, really . . . He is! So, if we wouldn't, perhaps we should rid our homes of it . . . figuratively and literally.

I hope I'm here 'til a ripe old age, but if not . . . my kids will find only drawers filled with encouraging writings, plenty of heartfelt memories of schoolwork I swelled with pride at keeping, and tons of love too (well, ok . . .you got me . . .junk too!).

Hmm? I gotta run. I feel a cleaning spree coming on. Care to join me?

You are not lost

OH MY GOSH - is about all I can say! I heard a song on the radio streaming at my desk at work and looked up the title on Google to discover Michael Buble. WOW - what an incredible talent!!!Then I started looking through his videos on YouTube. And I heard this one. Spoke right to my heart ... just like it was God singing to us ... and then I realized, I believe He is, through this song from such a gifted voice. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-8ez6dGao8&feature=channel

Tribute to a beautiful woman!

I offer this tribute to a wonderful woman, Letty. God graced my life by allowing me to be her daughter. She had a kind, loving, giving, beautiful spirit. As an adult now, I look back and realize the searching she did for her meaning, her purpose at the point in life where I find myself now. And truthfully, I see now, through my tears and heartache, the blessing that has come from her death. God DOES keep his promise of Romans 8:28. Had mom not gotten cancer and died, I wouldn't have been thrown into the pit of despair that took all my strength to get through each day. I wouldn't have left an verbally and emotionally abusive marriage. I wouldn't have taken the time to relearn who I even was anymore. I wouldn't have rededicated my life to the Lord with the fervor I have now (altho' admittedly, waning at times). And I would never have started writing all the things He gives me to say for Him (even so much as starting this blog) had I not gone through that terrible experience in order to get to this broken place in my life where the only place I had to look was up. I would never have gotten thru ANY of it, without God's precious grace...holding me close so I could let her go.

Now it is the time of smiles through tears (yes, they flow now as I type this)...the funny things she always did (like dancing around the room like a ballerina putting up the shades and singing "good morning, good morning, time to get up now").

My greatest regret is not having spent time in the kitchen with her. Once I learned to love to cook, I was 1/2 a country away and not able to physically cook with her. When I was home to visit, I was always running to and fro to see everyone and didn't eat at home often. And then it was too late. I have no idea how to make her delicious chicken pot pie...looked EVERYwhere and called family members for the recipe to no avail. It's one of those 'in your head' one's I suppose that is lost to us now.

So, now I post these pix in tribute to this gift from God. I have my living room filled with her things that I took when she died. And this is now in my home what we grew up knowing as "the good room" - my brother and I would get in a water fight or something of that sort, and we'd run into the good room. It was a sanctuary, a haven - you didn't DARE bring food or drink or water pistols in there (altho' once I was in college she'd let me take a cup of coffee and homemade chocolate chip cookies to curl up on the couch in front of the tree reading all the Christmas stories and ideas in the December magazines she'd buy me every year)! Same goes now. My boys are not allowed to do ANYthing in there. They know and love and respect the treasures I have from their Grammy. They recognize the significance of those things in my life (and that I'm hoping they pick up on as something they will find of mine to treasure in their future).

Part of me wondered when I was putting all this stuff up in the house if it was some sick way of trying to hold on to the past. And then God's precious gentle whisper assured me, "What's wrong with that? It's part of what shaped you into the person you are. You're not dwelling in the past forlornly. You're not wallowing in your loss. You are enveloping yourself in the love you had -- a mother's undying, devoted love. So don't you worry about it at all. Treasure it!"

So, as I post this tribute, let me tell you ... if you have a loving, giving, caring mother (and, unmistakable, some are not I'm sorry to say), do NOT take it for granted. Stop to ponder exactly those things that you would love to do with your mom...AND DO THEM! Memories are precious things you take with you and that you leave behind for others. One of my favorite memories with Mom was when I visited the month before she died. She LOVED to do word search puzzles. I bought her a big book of them. We sent Dad on his way for awhile (needed some valuable girl time!), she had one page, I had the other, I laid my head on her shoulder and we did them together. Precious...precious gift from God. I thank you for the gift of life, and even her death...for I know we will be together again in our home you've prepared for us.



Cross stitch picture Mom made in 1984 that she gave me the month before she died. Pretty much says it all, doesn't it?!

Found this picture when we were going through pictures for the visitation. We all instantly viewed that as Mom's journey home to Jesus, through her beloved nature. A walk she had to make alone.

Mom loved collecting old keys. She made the above, and I took her keys I got and carried on her tradition (below)

This is a stitchery picture (set of two actually) that took her 3 years to make. (I can still smell her house in the fabric)

These are some decoupage pictures Mom made in 1975 that hang in my good room today

Mom LOVED this charcoal drawing (above), and I have the photograph of us giving it to her for Christmas 1974 (below). I remember the sheer joy I felt at that moment for the thrill it brought her. That embrace said it all! (Now that drawing hangs in my good room)

Us together in 1996

Me & Mom when I was 19, just goofin' around!

This pix shows mom with her two favorite things - her zinnia garden (nature), and the trains that went behind the house (her 'choo-choo boys that she would wave to from the window [and they looked for her to do that too!])

Blessed Peace

Isn’t it amazing how something comes out of your mouth before you fully recognize what you’re even saying? Now, I’m not talking about those Freudian slips or faux pas moments – or even those blatant “oh my gosh how could I say that?” hand-over-mouth moments. No, I’m referring to those times when the Holy Spirit guides you to say something that is just what someone needed to hear … be it for comfort, for peace, for encouragement, for inspiration, or to even discourage someone from a wrong decision. I feel so incredibly blessed when He uses me for that purpose … yes, even when I did it as one of those aforementioned “oh my gosh” moments!

I was recently talking with friends and one of them mentioned, “Well, what if I take a break - maybe the right situation, the one I’ve been working so hard for, passes me by?” My immediate response was, “Well, if God knows you need that break, and you’ve surrendered to doing His will in the situation, He’ll make it that everything about that situation takes that needed break too. Or maybe the rest of the situation needs to be developed further to match where you are about it now.” Boy, what an ‘a-ha’ moment that was…for my friend AND for me.

When we’ve completely surrendered to God, He will make all the timetables work in tune for everyone and everything involved. Perhaps it’s personal relationships, business decisions, medical care decisions, or simply unresolved issues. Whatever we must face, if we have committed it to the Lord, it becomes a matter of surrender and trust. But who among us likes to surrender? In our mindset, isn’t that admitting defeat? “What, you want me to give up control?” we think. I know with me personally, being a single parent, the idea of giving up control goes completely contrary to how I have to live my life in making decisions that not only affect me, but my children as well. I’m the one in control. Or am I?

I, for one, can fully admit that the surrendering process is a long one – typically with very hard lessons learned along the way. C.S. Lewis said, “There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done’ and those to whom God says, ‘All right then, have it your way’.” But I always imagine Him finishing that statement with “And I’ll be right here to pick up the pieces and help you with it when you’re ready.” He’s not offended. He understands our nature…our need for control. But He also already knows how that decision to go our own way is going to end. And more than anything, He loves us. Therefore, He’ll wait for us to make the inevitable mistake we’re going to make, then come back to Him broken from choosing our own course. But the amazing part of it is that He will take the broken pieces and make something beautiful … rather like broken pieces of glass make a beautiful display in a kaleidoscope.

If we really surrender, then that involves laying ourselves bare and vulnerable before God. There’s the trust issue. Do we really trust God? Not lip service, but letting go everything concerning a situation (and life in general) and handing it over to Him. And that handing over to Him means no worrying. I read recently that worry is opposite of trusting God. If we worry about something we’ve surrendered, then really we’re still holding on to it. If we’ve surrendered it, we’re trusting God for the best outcome for everyone involved. End of story! Romans 8:28 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” He can’t work it for the good if we want to control it. It’s according to His purpose, not ours.

There is such peace once you’ve made the decision to surrender. Don’t get me wrong, there will be turmoil almost immediately – even if only in the form of temptation to try to regain control. Trust me … Satan will be sure of that. He wants control of you and if you’re truly surrendered to Christ, Satan loses another one. But, even amidst the turmoil, there is such deep down, unrelenting blessed peace. The kind where you can say “I just don’t really care. I’m really not worried about it anymore because I trust the Lord to make it work out best for everyone concerned.”

It is so vital to know God’s word. Yes, He can put any thought in your head to voice to someone else. But, it carries so much power when you can say, “Scripture says…” so they will know that this isn’t something you’re saying. Now, I’m not even going to sit here and say that I can quote exactly which verse says what. I can’t. I do have some memorized, but that is only because I pray them as a prayer every day, or because I’ve had to cling to them for solace and comfort. I told another friend recently, “I don’t think God expects us to spout off one verse or another to someone. I believe He expects us to tell others what Scripture says, without having to say exactly what verse it is. Because the remarkable thing then takes place, the seed of the Word you planted causes that person to do an Internet search to find what you just said, so they can look it up for themselves. Then they may dig deeper in His Word to find that which they seek, and He’s reaching them right where they need.”

I’ll share with you now those Scriptures that guide me, that I tell to anyone who will listen (…so listen!!). I pray every day, several times a day, Psalm 25:4-5 “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” And my favorite, Jeremiah 6:16, “This is what the Lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”, which goes perfectly with Isaiah 48:17-18, “This is what the Lord says…"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea."” And when I faced one of the greatest challenges in my life, I fasted and begged God to help me with the decision I had to make. I got nothing. And just as the gentle whisper breathes in Scripture to Elijah, the Holy Spirit shared with me, “If you have no peace about it, it’s not from me.” And I was immediately reminded of Jesus’ words to His disciples, “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give you.” (Yes, I had to do an Internet search to look up exactly which verse that was. [John 14:27 by the way]) The decision was clear…immediately clear. And I had such a peace come over me…mmm, warms me now just to remember it!

So, back to the beginning of this post. That moment when God recently put something on my heart to say that plopped out of my mouth without even thinking? Well, there were several blessings that occurred … 1) it’s just what she needed to hear for encouragement, 2) it reconfirmed for me the things that I face are indeed going to be just fine, and 3) it inspired me to write this post to reach each of you in whatever you’re struggling with right now. I don’t know what you need. But God does. And I count it a true blessing that He’s using me to touch you right now. There is beauty and peace, and rest in the light…the light of the world, Jesus (see John 8:12).

Isn’t He the most awesome God?

ok...confession...

I've come a long way lately. I've had some rough patches & got pretty mad at God & was truly ready to turn my back on Him. It's that stubborn side of me He created that kept me hanging on to the thread of faith I had left. That's what got me to call my pastor sobbing "I just don't understand how any of this is for my good, or for the good of my children. Where's the hope He promises in Jeremiah 29:11? I just don't have it." Then my pastor asked me a very simple question..."How much do you worship God?" Boy, that smacked me upside the head (kinda like Gibbs does to Tony on NCIS all the time {you'll come to learn I'm an avid NCIS fan, so there may be many references in posts to come}). Funny thing is...God woke me up at 4 a.m. that same morning saying simply, "Why would I bless you with anything more, when you haven't bothered to thank me for the blessings you already have received." Ummmm...okay. Point taken.

So I turned my attitude around. And I learned what it is to completely surrender this time. No more holding on to what I want...much less trying to look for it, or trying to make it happen. No more pity party to which I hear very distinctly "oh, what's the matter, are you not getting your way?" (hear that as you reprimanding a toddler!). And I pray the following:

"Dear God, I am full of wishes, full of desires, full of expectations. Some of them may be realized, many may not, but in the midst of all my satisfactions and disappointments, I hope in You. I know that you will never leave me alone and will fulfill your divine promises. Even when it seems that things are not going my way, I know that they are going your way, and that, in the end, your way is the best way for me. O Lord, strengthen my hope, especially when my many wishes are not fulfilled. Let me never forget that your name is Love. Amen" (Henri J.M Nouwen)

Let me tell you...there has been so much internal peace in my life since I made that decision. Turmoils & struggles still abound, but peace prevails.

And when I finally let go of my plan, that allowed God to start working His plan. So now...I'm able to reach out to anyone who will stop by & stay awhile through reading what He's revealed to me. And more importantly, I see now that I wouldn't have time to do any of these things had I tried to pursue my plan.

What an awesome experience. Hasn't been easy, and most certainly hasn't been pleasant. But, now I see just how rewarding it's been. I can say in all honesty that through our struggles we grow stronger. It's hard to admit this, Lord...but You were right, and I was wrong! (P.S. ... thank you for that!)