Rutted Paths

(photo credit Adam Cohn, flickr)
We are such creatures of habit! We are so quick to go to that place we always do – you know, that ‘comfort zone’. When things go wrong in our lives, we revert back to that place we know. Work with me here. It’s not ‘comfortable’ to say the least - we probably even hate that we go back there again & again, but it’s the place we know – it’s familiar - thus making it our comfort zone.

Well, as I asked my friend many months ago, “What happens when you walk a certain path over and over and over again?” She looked rather perplexed & I told her simply what the Lord knew she needed to hear. “You get stuck in the rut that is created by traveling the same path so consistently. You don’t necessarily want to be there, but because it’s what you’ve always known to do and return to, you travel the familiar, and then get stuck there.” Ding-ding-ding…wow the light put off by that bulb shining above her head!

Hey we all do it … go to that comfort zone that leads to a rutted path. It could be food or alcohol or bad relationships, or as in my case, hiding behind walls I build around my heart to protect myself from getting hurt. But, in doing so, I create an impenetrable fortress that doesn’t allow anyone in. But that closes me off from being able to give too. And there you find yourself … stuck again!

So, I submit that when we face a trial in our lives, we do as Scripture directs us to follow, instead of following our old familiar, rutted path.

Jeremiah 6:16 ~ This is what the LORD says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.
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Psalm 119:105 ~ Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
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Matthew 11:28-29 ~ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
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Isaiah 48:17-18 ~ This is what the LORD says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.
WITH
John 14:27 ~ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

If we will but stand still & ask & follow where HE lights the way, we will find peace! Seems pretty straight forward to me…and it sure saves a lot of heartache!!! And for the part that still hurts...ask Him to come fill the black hole in you that threatens to suck everything else into it. His light & love will fill that empty space in you & will shine out of you to the rest of the hurting world...even if it's just to a friend that lives up the street.

(Oh yeah, and my friend with the lightbulb? Well, she listened (to me) & did what Scriptures told her to do & listened to what HE told her...and she has the most peace she's ever known! That's a beautiful thing to witness! Isn't it wonderful when God uses you to help others? There just is NO feeling on earth like that!!)

Blind trust

It’s amazing where the Lord will meet you to give you an inspired idea to share with others! The Holy Spirit floors me with His messages! While packing my son’s lunch one day … yes, that’s right, in the middle of packing lunch…then in driving to work later that day…then recalling something I said to a dear friend months earlier – little snippets of time & thought that He then forms them all together into a cohesive message. So, follow me on this journey…

First, the lunch thing thought – ‘won’t he just love it when he opens this lunchbox to find …’ (whatever it was for that day that I know that he loves). And I thought about what level there is in that instance of blind trust he has in me. He knows that when he’s starving by the time lunch rolls around (he’s not a big breakfast eater, no matter how hard I try!), he’s going to open that lunch box and be filled on those things he loves to eat…not things he’s never tried before, not things he completely dislikes, but those things he loves to devour.

Second, the driving to work thought – I was remembering a conversation with my older son about mechanical errors that lead to airplane crashes. And this one went much deeper. Don’t we all get on airplanes simply trusting blindly that everyone on the ground has done what they are supposed to do with correct parts and knowledge and skill? Or when we pick up our car at the repair shop – that the correct repairs were made so the vehicle is safe for our family? Or that the medicine we put in our bodies is going to do what is needed in order to bring healing and it hasn’t been tampered with?

You get my drift.

Then the astounding thought…why can’t we just trust God that way with our lives? Why do we put so much stock in the people who do the work, and not in Him? We are but human, we are all fallible. What if that airline technician forgot one single bolt, but God made it fall right in front of him just before he sealed a panel in place in order to avert a disaster? What if someone had a migraine and tried to take some medicine, but spilled it accidentally in the toilet because the seat was up? Only then to discover with despair at now not being able to take something to alleviate the pain, that because he couldn’t think clearly due to the pain, he accidentally picked up the wrong medicine that it turned out would have harmed him. Or the car mechanic didn’t fix one last thing because he was called away while in the middle of the job and forgot about it by the time he came back to finish things up? But another mechanic came up to ask him advice on how to do it based on what he just completed and he realized he hadn’t finished after all.

Again…you get my drift.

We need to blindly trust that God has His mighty hand in all things involving our lives. It’s hard, I know. And I know that it is more than hard to trust Him when He allows something awful to happen in our lives. I will never pretend to understand why He allows some things to happen on this earth and I get very mad at Him on those. I yell at Him sometimes and start to feel guilty, or like He’s going to strike me dead right there for talking to Him that way. (I sure would never allow my kids to speak to me in such a manner.) Then I’m reminded what I heard once, “Go ahead and get mad and yell at God all you want. He’s the creator of all things. You think for one minute He can’t handle what you have to dish out at Him? Puh-leaze!” But when you think about it, that’s what He wants from us … honest, heartfelt (granted heart-wrenching) open communication from the depths of our souls. Romans 8:26 reminds us that “…the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” I has so been here before (and I’m sure I will again).

So, after you’re ‘spent’ from letting God ‘have it’, to the point that you’ve completely sapped all that you’re worth, try going a different route and letting go, and blindly trust Him. Don’t just give lip service to Jeremiah 29:11, try taking it to heart. I’m starting to witness it come to fruition in my life. And I think it’s because I finally stopped trying to do things my way, and started just living my life trusting everything about it to Him, and anxiously awaiting these wonderful plans He has for me. Oh okay, I confess … it actually came after yet another sob session/feeling lower than low moments ending with one of those Gibbs head-slap on Tony (yet another NCIS-inspired reference) moments when the Spirit spoke in exasperation right into my very being, “Would you PLEASE stop getting in the way of the plans I have for you!”

To which I replied, “Oh okay, fine, fine, fine! It's definitely NOT working my way. And I just truly give up anyway. I'm tired...I'm just so, so, soooo tired of it all!” And ya know what? It’s turning out to be an amazing ride – starting here! Thank you, Lord!!!

Lessons learned in weeding!

I find it truly amazing how lost one can become in blogland. Not that I find that troublesome, considering the phenomenal posts I've been reading - most especially this one. I have SO much to do today, and instead, I've spent almost 3 hours on here reading, and commenting on posts...but hopefully finding new friends in the process!

Today is the first chance I've had to make a post since I had a "revelationary experience" last weekend. I was out early in the day pulling weeds that had popped up in my brick walkway while we were on vacation ... trying to beat the sun coming over the house with the 107 temperature that would fast be upon us that day.

Anyway, ya know how there are mindless chores you do that help "unburden" your mind & you can ponder just about anything? Weeding (and dishes) are those times for me, my friends. SO...I'm pullin' & gritting my teeth at how much there was to do...and I start to ponder...(come with me on the journey) 'why did God invent these stupid weeds anyway? And why is it that THEY grow [apparently in abundance]while everything else I've paid for is dying if I don't take the time to water it?' So, in aggravation I pull, I sweat, and I ponder...stupid weeds! But then this peace settled in on me, and the weeds really didn't bother me anymore. Know why? Because God was with me and He had something to share with me.

The weeds are symbolic of the evil that is in this world. Yes, the weeds practically thrive in the hostile environment of the extreme weather we've had this summer (I haven't had to mow for over a month) - just as evil thrives in the darkness that the world is. We can pluck out some of the weeds, but we have to pull them up by the roots. And I was reminded of Jesus' Parable of the Weeds (Matthew 13:24-29) - "Let both [weeds & wheat] grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.' ". We believers (wheat) must live here among the weeds, but our Father will tie up evil to be burned in the Lake of Fire and we will be brought to His barn. We are seeds in this dark world to grow continually (for we never will reach maturity). Only God knows when the harvest will be. But we must leave the weeds to His mighty hand. Now I'm not saying for a minute that we shouldn't do what we can to combat weeds/evil, that is our duty to not turn a blind eye. But, we must always remember that the battle is the Lord's!

(Ok, nobody comments, "well, Merana, what about your previous post on dandelions?" & how we should look at things with the simplicity of children)

And then as I'm further slaving away & drenched in sweat by this point (yes, it was 95 degrees by 10a in the shade!) , the Lord reminded me of what a friend recently told me. He was praying for a difficult time I was experiencing & after a few days, he approached me & said, "Ok, what I'm coming away with is that you have unresolved issues that you need to deal with no matter how ugly they are." I was shocked! I told him, "I don't have anything unresolved! I've dealt with everything I was faced with and gotten past it." Hmph, I thought - who does he think he is?! Then I realized just who he was. He was being a good friend in listening to what God told him to tell me. Tables turned. Hmph, who do I think I am not to listen to what God was trying to tell me?

So...I started praying & earnestly seeking direction. I told the Lord, "Ok, apparently I have unresolved issues that I'm not even aware are issues. Would you please reveal them to me [enlighten me] and then help me to resolve them?" God is faithful! All the time. Yes, He took me on a journey within my heart...and yes, to ugly places I didn't want to see. He showed me addictive tendencies I was starting to develop in order to not face some things. He showed me that I only think that I trust, but where men are concerned, I trust no one. And in that one revelation, He showed me that that's why I haven't trusted Him implicitly...because He's a "he" & can't be trusted because almost every man in my life has let me down or hurt me terribly. Bit of an eye opener, eh?

Next...Ok, so I've learned to trust HIM. "It is what it is" has become a new mantra for me. Not much I can do about anything. Every situation is exactly what it is at that time. I will do the best I can in that situation, but I have to trust Him with the outcome for my good & His glory. I've learned that I can't believe that just some of the promises of the Bible are real, and not others...or that makes the whole Word of God unbelievable, doesn't it? And I've been a witness to some of those promises. Therefore, I have to wait in anticipation of the rest of them. I know everyone knows Jeremiah 29:11 and holds on to it. But, I've found the gem of Romans 8:24b-25 - But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. That's what I cling to! And now I greet each day thanking Him that I'm one day closer to my heart's desire...all the while I see the unfolding of His heart's desire for my life! It's a beautiful ride!

And my friend (and yes, it is JUST friendship 1/2 a country apart) who started me on this path to enlightenment? God is faithful there too. Someone I thought was a true friend in Christ is now making very detrimental decisions that will impact his life quite negatively. I've admonished him as the Lord directed me to do, sharing Scriptures with him to show him that the path he is taking will only lead to heartache & pain. But, he's lonely & refuses to listen. So, I thank the Lord for the brief connection we had in one another's lives. Thank Him for the chance to be given a message through him that has lead me on a path to true healing. And thank Him that He used me to try to reach my friend as he did me. I listened. Sadly, he did not. And that's when the time comes that you know you have to wash your hands of a situation and say "It is what it is", lift it in prayer, and leave it at the foot of the Cross. He knows I'm here if he wants to come back & listen to what God has to say. But, for now it seems he's content to go live among the weeds. He's a good man down deep, making stupid choices so please pray for him.

Ok, with that I see that I have now been on here for far, far, far too long. But time well spent =)!! Now, I have to go clean. Hmmm....wonder what might be revealed to me...

Ok, so they LOOOOVE me at the library (or perhaps not!). At the present time I have 6 books checked out. I have 3 that I'm reading for "study" purposes, and 3 Christian mysteries for enjoyment (I love a good mystery!).

Oh alright...confession time...I've had this book "In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart" by Ruth Graham (daughter of Billy Graham) FOR-EV-ER!!!! I had started reading it & then put it down for a few other books. Just didn't quite feel like "studying". Didn't get very far in it. Yes, I've renewed it several times (I'm SO bad!) so as not to forget I wanted to read it (hey, nobody else apparently wanted it!).

BUT, today, I tell you...you HAVE to get this book. I felt compelled to read it a bit before bed last nite & was drawn in. I have underlined, starred, exclamation pointed all over the margins ... and I'm only 2 chapters into it!!! (it's ok...I do it in pencil since it's not my book!) I looked it up on ebay to buy it. This books is phenomenal & really gets to the heart of trusting God with your pain. I am even going to get a copy for the pastor where I work & my pastor who got me on the path to sustain my spiritual fortitude & for my best friend!

So, I just had to share that with you! Give your library a visit...but trust me, you'll end up buying it!!! I read this & think how amazing God is to use someone like Ruth to reach out to this hurting world...how He will take your pain & use it for good, like He did for her. I only pray that He reaches people through me too!

Look at what the Lord blessed us with this past week! I have to tell you the story of what I call "Haven Home" and of trusting in the Lord, even to the point that it hurts!

I was in a very bad marriage (altho' I won't detail it here because it's over now). I constantly cried out to the Lord on my knees "when will this end?" "why are you allowing this to happen because it cannot be good for my children to see this every day?". I never got the answers. But apparently I inspired a great many women who knew what I endured because they think I'm the strongest thing on the planet. I just smile and thank them, knowing that really you just endure as best you can and wait for the Lord (He promises that the battle is His). I was a stay-at-home mom, no job, so no hope to get out on my own. Couldn't live with family because my parents' home is NOT kid friendly, and it is a lifestyle very different than that which they led.

Flash forward - literally out of the blue, God provided a job in December '06 for a church with a great, loving congregation. I wasn't even looking there and a friend called to ask if I was still looking for work. Blessing #1. Three weeks later something significant happened that involved my now ex to be removed from the home. Divorce proceedings began (but in this ridiculous state you have to be separated one full year before you can file). Our house was going to go to auction 7-1-08. The Lord brought a buyer who was moving to the area from another state (after having the house on the market for over a year) and we closed 6-26-08. Whew - Blessing #2.

My Haven here was 2 streets over from where my married home was. I can see the back of each house from the other. I approached the owner who was trying to sell it at the time to see if he would consider renting. We agreed and signed into a 2 year lease. Blessing #3. I could keep my boys in the same phenomenal school and in the same neighborhood with all the friends they'd grown up with! I've always admired this house. Once we moved in, my dad said, "Honey, this house is just so you!" And he's right. There's nothing about this place that I don't love ... quirks and all! Then Blessing #4 - turns out my new landlord and his brand new bride are devout followers of Christ too! We have become good friends, tho' they live in another state. We pray for one another and encourage one another.

Now the hugest...Blessing #5 - my landlord contacted me in March '10 about purchasing the home. He introduced me to a program that helps low income people be able to buy their own homes. It was a long process, and quite a few hoops needed to be jumped through, but on Monday, June 28, 2010, God blessed me the most by making it so we went to settlement. So, it is officially Our Haven Home (well...ok...and the bank's!)

I'm humbled beyond words to see how far He's brought me ... physically, as well as emotionally. I have taken a long time to heal inside ... still have set backs, but I lean on Him through it all. All I can do is praise Him, thank Him, offer my life to Him, and try to raise these boys to know Him and love Him as I do.

I just had to share that with you! It may take awhile, but God is faithful!!! I see now that this home just wasn't ready for us yet with what was going on in my landlord's life. But, God knew that He had the perfect home lined up for us. I just needed to trust Him with the timing working out for what best. I now can actually see Jeremiah 29:11 playing out in my life. Wow, you cling to Scripture promises, but it's really something incredible to actually see them come to life. Can't wait to see where He leads us now!

When we get back from vacation in a few weeks...I'll start in earnest of really making this place ours. Painting to start, creative projects to explore, and eventually things I'd like to improve. But always praising all the way! And I'll have to post the before/after shots!

This front porch has been my sanctuary and I love it out there. Actually...think I'll head out there right now...to my favorite spot & enjoy mocha colored hazelnut bliss in a cup while I enjoy the beautiful weather and read a bit, praising You and thanking You, Father, for this blessing of a home that is our haven!

(photo credit: raskazy.files.wordpress.com)

Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions
Author Unknown


When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard. My kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on.

When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much rhythm so I sit self-consciously and listen.
My kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words. If they don't know them, they make up their own.

When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk.
My kids close their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it, until they fall to the ground laughing.

When I pray, I say thee and thou and grant me this, give me that.
My kids say, "Hi God! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the bad dreams away tonight."

When I see a mud puddle I step around it. I see muddy shoes and dirty carpets. My kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to play with.

My 2 cents? - I wonder if we are given kids to teach . . . or to learn from? No wonder God loves the little children! Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~ Merana

Passions and Talents

It will never cease to amaze me how the Lord works! HE'S MOVING, folks - and He intends to touch one, some, or many with what I have to say here. Man, I love being used by Him!!

David Borchard spoke of recognizing what we would define as our core values, and that everything else flows from those. He also explained that our passions are those things that are of deep-seated interest to us, as well as an energy source operating from our core values. Our talents entail our natural abilities, our aptitude, and those skills we develop over time. The weaving together of those two then become our motivators. Dr. Borchard basically said that gratification is a passing thing, but fulfillment is when you've achieved something and feel as though you're 'filled up' and satisfied with that which you've accomplished. But ultimately, the key to success comes from inside.

Success certainly means different things to different people. What does it mean to you? To some, it may be climbing the ladder of achievements. To another, it may be winning the game or defeating a competitor. To still another, it might be accumulating great wealth. But in our endeavors to be successful, we must recognize our responsibility as Christians. Our first priority is to our God (Matthew 6:33)! We are called to be one in the body of Christ (Galatians 3:28). It is our responsibility to serve Him and help those less fortunate and win others over to want to know Christ, and then helping them on that path (2 Corinthians 5:18 - our assignment). There is nothing wrong with great wealth - as long as we understand that the love of money is the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10; Hebrews 13:5). I once told a very dear friend that success of this world means nothing if you've left your loved ones in the wake as you pursued that success full steam ahead. I said to imagine that he were one of those people trapped in the collapsing World Trade Center buildings. No degree, no bank account, no car, no house, no competition will have mattered at that point. All that remains is love. Leaving a legacy where those we leave behind can remember us with laughter or smiles through their tears is far more significant than any
worldly item or 'win'! That is what bridges generational boundaries.

We should not be discouraged is we haven't yet discovered our passions, or even our talents. Truthfully, it's been 8 years now that I've discovered my passion or even taken the time to recognize my talents – writing! I’ve done much privately with it, never knowing how to share it. Then in April, He revealed it – and this blog found its place in His Kingdom. It takes time . . . prayerful time in asking Him to reveal things within your spirit of where HE would have you go, and what HE has placed within you in order to reach this hurting world - even if it's only to reach one person at a time. God put His spirit in our hearts (2 Corinthians 2:22). "Soul searching" - taking time to evaluate your life, recognize your strengths, accept your weaknesses and do what you can to improve upon them, and come to understand your likes and dislikes. Then take it all to Him and ask what He would have you do with it and what He would have you learn from it. None of us is ever too old to learn something new about ourselves! And I readily admit to a LOT of frustration in the slowness of the process! But MUCH has had to happen in my life to get me to this point where I’m open enough, and completely SURRENDERED, and ready to move forward unencumbered with where He’s asking me to go.

We all enter this world in different circumstances, encounter different people and joys, and struggles in life. We are each made unique - in our appearance, in our personality, in our circumstances, in our gifts and talents, and in the passion that lies within each of us. But also know this: we are ALL created in the image of God. We all comprise His likeness. I imagine a "photo mosaic" picture - the kind where hundreds of individual pictures are artfully placed together so that when you step back, you see a whole new bigger picture. And the picture of each of us working together form the image of our heavenly Father. I'm reminded of a painting done by an artist, Bill Zdinak. I read his story in a book I took when clearing out my mother's house. The story so intrigued me that I did an Internet search of the artist in order to see his work. Mr. Zdinak made a painting entitled, "In His Image" that is truly unbelievable. At a distance, it is a depiction of Jesus wearing His crown of thorns. But as you look more closely, you understand that Jesus' image is actually comprised of the faces of so many people - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Dr. Jonas Salk (developer of the first polio vaccine), President John F. Kennedy, and Alexander Graham Bell (boy, wouldn't he be surprised at how far phone service has come!?!), to name a few, as well as simple everyday people. You can view the painting more closely and read some of his story on www.printsforinspiration.com. But the truly remarkable thing that you don't get to read on that website is that two years prior to creating this painting, Mr. Zdinak had been horribly injured in a freak accident. It was only after he cried out to God, that the inspiration came upon him to paint this piece, and that he finished it in 15 hours.

God IS there and He IS listening. I know there are times it seems He is not, but remember that HIS timing is best and we must go through the struggles we do to develop perseverance (Romans 5:3-4), and ultimately hope. In the song Broken (#5 in my playlist) it says, "there is beauty in the breaking". Boy, you never think so at the time, that's for sure! But, once you get through the valley (remember, He never promised us we'd go around that valley, but that He would walk with us through it!), you realize that there probably was some beauty to it in order to get you more experience where you can then use your struggle to help someone else. We ALL have been through those things. And quite honestly, I have found that many of those struggles have developed the passion within me.

I view doing things within my passion as something which gives me peace - peace at having done it (like writing this post to share with you). Your passion should entail something you greatly love to do, but also by means of utilizing the talents that God has given you. It breaks down to asking Him to reveal things within yourself to your self. And, do you know God's will for you? I'm not going to tell you. Go check it out yourself - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

And by the way, how do I measure success? Raising my children to know and love the Lord and to know these following things I live by: to love others and be loved, to offer myself in His service by whatever means He needs, to touch others' lives and hearts, to live each day to the fullest striving to do all that I can for Him, and to leave a little bit of "me" behind in each person I encounter along this journey Home. And, I must confess - just being inspired to write this has shown me that I have been successful. Sure, I've let the situations of each day overtake me rather than to live them to the fullest, exclaiming Psalm 118:24 - "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." It's truly humbling to realize that every day we're given could also be our last.

Remember, our passions have been set deep within us by God. Our talents come from God. He is the Creator of all things. He alone can see the big picture of the experiences we have and how they can then impact others' lives. And believe me, there are hurting people in this world who can gain from our insight based upon our struggles and experiences. So, do some real soul
searching and ask Him to reveal things to you about you! You never know whose life you'll touch with the insight you'll gain. Perhaps you won't know until you're called Home. But . . . it's invigorating to think of the prospect!

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes. It's by Frederick Buechner ~ The place where God calls you . . . is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.