One long, very difficult saga...

My BB (blogging buddies, in case you've forgotten).  I have been remiss in my blogging.  Admittedly, due to a major funk I was in for MONTHS.  Life had just beat me down....majorly.  I was bordering on major depression & trying to cling to God's promises.

Then God did something in me...to me....and FOR me....although certainly not in a manner I would have ever wished for. 

First of all, I have learned so well what it truly means in Phil. 4, "¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength."  Do you see that?  The secret!

Ok, so the SAGA begins on Superbowl Sunday.  I live in a small town.  The closest Dominoes is a 20 minute drive, which I pass every day on the way to/from work.  However, totally forgot to stop on my way home that Friday.  So....I trudge over the mountain to get dipping sauce for the hot wings for our little family Superbowl Sunday (me & the boys).  One the way home, it happened...life as I knew it changed at the top of the mountain.  Someone cut in front of me & I t-boned him then went into a pole.  Completely his fault. 

And GOD SHOWED UP big time in everything that has unfolded beginning with that very moment.  Yes, I was injured, but not horribly.  The greatest blessing was knowing my boys were not with me, but were safely playing XBox (& probably arguing with one another) at home.  2nd blessing...the pole.  It kept me from going down that area of the mountain into someone's home or where it would have been more difficult to get to me.  3rd blessing...the people who came from everywhere to help me.  I thought the car was on fire & stumbled out as quickly as I could & just dropped to the ground after about 3 steps due to the injury to me knee.  Two women sat with me, wrapping me  up because I was shivering so bad & clearly in shock.  Another huge blessing was that someone else had cut in front of me before this guy & I had taken my foot off the gas because of him (b/c I knew he would clear without having to hit my brakes), which saved me from hitting this guy (who never saw me) at full speed....altho' I was already in the intersection when he pulled in front of me.

One woman asked if she could call someone & I asked her to call my ex-husband to go get my boys (ever the mom, all I worry about was them freaking out if I didn't get home).  He then proceeded to bring them to the ER immediately so they could see for themselves that I wasn't in dire shape, although the whole backboard, neckbrace, couldn't stop shivering from the shock thing threw them for a loop.  Xrays, exams, CAT scans ensued.  I told my ex to take the boys home (obviously with him) because I did not want them out later when the Superbowl was over & all the drunks were on the road. (sidebar - did you realize there are more alcohol-related accidents on Superbowl Sunday than New Years?)

I was released that night with a notice that I had a sprained knee & mild whiplash (thank the Lord for airbags!), contusions from the seatbelt, nothing broken only banged up, especially in my face from the airbag.  But, my knee was the worst of it!  So...rest & recuperation began.  Blessing #??? at this point....my neighbor got my call & came to get me at the ER at 11p.

On to the next thing God did for me.  I went out a few weeks later looking for a new-to-me car (mine was totalled) for 6 hours on my crutch.  It was absolutely exhausting....and I found one car.  Did  not know how on earth I was going to make a car payment.  Guess what....they sold it right after I looked at it.  'Ok, great....now what am I going to do' I worried?

So, I get to work that following Monday & the custodian at the church where I work (a dear man & friend) asked, "did you find a car?" and when I started to tell him my saga, he cut me off & said, "DON'T!  One of our members here has car that was her late husband's & she rarely drives it & wants you to have it."  My jaw hit the floor & I started crying as I praised God.  I did pay her something for it b/c I couldn't just take it & then I had to put $1000 into it to get it to pass state inspection.  THEN, the owner of the shop doing the repair found out about my situation & knocked off 1/2 the repair costs.  I cried & praised the Lord yet again!

Then everyone in the congregation took up collections of money & food & gift cards to help me & the boys.  I sobbed at that point...thru the laughter of unbelief!  I have received so many cards & phone calls of well wishes & love from these people, it's been overwhelming!  They truly personify the love of Christ!

At this point, my knee was NOT getting better, as a sprain surely should have already.  Back to the doctor again.  Had an MRI done which showed "torn cartilage".  On to a specialist.  Well, it wasn't just torn....it was completely torn OFF.  No wonder it wasn't getting any better.  In the meantime, there was also a worry about my neck & also the CAT scan revealed what may be a hairline fracture in my lower back.  Thankfully, the MRIs turned out to be okay for both of those.

So...knee surgery.  Had to coordinate that around 4 other people's schedules, including Holy Week at work.  The boys kept asking me if I was worried about it.  I always told them "No!" They just couldn't understand that.  I told them, "I just trust God!  He has been with me & us from the very moment the accident happened. He is watching over this whole thing.  He has something that needs to be shown to others through me.  My story doesn't end here or it would have already ended with the accident."  But I realized THEY were scared, even if I wasn't.  Naturally, they were worried "what happens to me if something happens to you, mom?"  So, we talked about that & I reassured them.  Nonetheless, my older son was a nervous wreck & just wanted to be home to take care of me when I returned from the surgery.  Therefore, he couldn't sleep the night before the surgery - to where he woke me up several times, the last time being 3a.  I finally said, "fine, stay home from school tomorrow & be here for me.  Now PLEASE, go to bed!"

Had the surgery, which went well, on April 11.  The surgeon removed  1/2" & 3/4" pieces of cartilage, as well as numerous smaller pieces.  This all was apparently also knocking my kneecap out of alignment.  And true to his worries, my son waited on me hand & foot when I got home.  BOTH of my boys are excellent caregivers.

Then neighbors found out about the surgery & meals started showing up all over the place.  So much deliciousness!

Of course, now there's a different pain as everything heals.  Still trying to get the swelling to go down with anti-inflammatory Rx & now a special cream that was mailed to me.  And that swelling causes pain of it's own too.  I also have discovered I have hamstring & tendon issues on the back of my leg due to limited use for almost 3 mos.  And truthfully, it's exhausting having to get around on a crutch.  I pull up to the grocery store (even tho' now I get to use the handicap spot) & just sigh heavily....b/c I know what it's going to take out of me to get the groceries.  (you might ask, "why don't you have your kids help you with the trip?....ummm, one word....money!  It saves me LOTS more $ for them to stay home.  But they bring the groceries in to the house for me.)

Started physical therapy here in our small town with people I know helping me.  I told Jason, my therapist, that I felt like I was in a spa with the stimulation, hot packs to the back of the knee, massaging the whole leg, etc.  He just smiled that knowing smile that says, "just wait...you won't like me much soon." LOL!

What God has revealed to me is much.  I would never have wished any of this.  But, He promises good will come from everything we experience.  I have a car now with 130K fewer miles on it.  People have given so selflessly of themselves to us. And my kids have a deeper appreciation of me (doesn't mean a lot isn't wasted on them still...;o)!!! The ARE kids after all! ). 

I still have a way to go, but I feel incredibly, incredibly blessed.  There was a 16-yr old girl from my neighborhood who was in an accident a few weeks after mine & they are still dealing with the head injuries she sustained, which has uprooted their entire lives.  They inspire ME!  My story is an inconvenience, their's is life-altering.

But, I just needed to share this testimony of God's gracious love with each of you this weekend.  I just feel it deep within my very spirit that this isn't over yet.  There is more He wants to reveal through all this.  I look forward to where He's taking this....albeit slowly. 

Blessings & love in Christ everyone ~ Merana